Halloween:

Today is Halloween. Something is bothering me about people during Halloween and I am going to share it.

1. If your costume is not scary or spooky, YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT.
God I would like to set you on fire and let you run around screaming. The whole fucking point of Halloween (In case you missed it folks) is to scare away evil spirits who roam the land looking for a body to inhabit. (Celtic Legend) A fireman, a cell phone, a hooker, dancers, cops, political figures (with the exception of our president who actually is fucking scary), cartoon characters, are all right out the window. If you dressed up like one of these or anything not at all scary... FUCK YOU. You are an idiot who completely missed the point of the best holiday ever and you should die. Die horribly and viciously at the hands of the people who actually got the whole point of Halloween.

2. Dressing up babies and pets. This is borderline tolerable and can be slightly cute but don't overdo it. For one, this is for YOU and not for them. I promise you they aren't enjoying it and would never do it on their own, so get them out of that shit as soon as you get the pictures taken so they can recover from your selfish endeavour.

3. Giving out bullshit treats. Walk down to the local grocery store, look at the candy isle and take note of the candy displayed there. That is what you should be giving out (bite size is fine), not pennies, and dimes and dollars or whatever. Apples are ok because they are traditional, but don't hide razors, sewing needles, THC, LSD, or anything fucked up in it... that's just wrong. If you try to hand out any other bullshit treat, you should be pulled from your house and your head should be stomped on by the kids until your welcome mat is soaked in your brain matter. No shit people, don't skimp on the treats.

4. Turning out your lights and hiding from Trick or Treaters. Oh you are really asking for trouble by doing this. If you don't want to participate in Halloween, ok, whatever that's your choice, just be prepared to face the consequences. What I used to do to you cheap, miserable fucks who would go out or not participate, I cant even tell you because I am sure it is an open case with the detectives and FBI in my hometown and I am not signing any confession. Lets just say Trick or Treat is serious shit.

Now that this is off my chest I feel better. I cant wait till people start showing up at my house tonight, I have some ridiculous amounts of high quality candy, some kick ass Jack 'O Lanterns, and I am ready! Have a Happy Halloween people, do it right, have fun!

Castor Lives:

So my cat is back from the vet and he is doing pretty well. The thing that has me most concerned is that what I took him into the vet for, they were unable to diagnose. That being said, he seems fine now. I broight him in because he had an appetite, but no matter what he ate he would regurgitate hours later and he was losing weight... fast. I had a nickname for him; "Castor Steamshovel Head" Because when he ate he would take huge bites and barely swallow, he was voracious! But then.. later, it would all just come up. Took him to the vet the first time, they found a bladder stone but said it could not be the problem and sent him home saying he had a food alergy. I literally tried every food out there and nothing worked, always with the throwing up... Took him back again and told them they are wrong, something is wrong with him and they removed the stone but told me they had no idea why he was vomiting. Well... with the stone out, he is now no longer throwing up and eating fine.

You would think that they could figure out that somehow the stone was causing this, but they still refuse to believe it. When you look at the clues and subtract things that are not fact, or proveable, what you have left, no matter how bizzare, must be the solution. Fuckin doctors... Anyhow, I am mentally more stable now and at ease knowing my little buddy is better now and recovering well. It wont be long before I am sure he is yelling at me, following me around and throwing himself under my feet. At least I wont have to turn into Dexter and spend the rest of my life quenching my thirst on uneducated and unobservant vets. *whew*

One of my turns:

Day after day, love turns grey
Like the skin of a dying man.
Night after night, we pretend its all right
But I have grown older and
You have grown colder and
Nothing is very much fun any more.
And I can feel one of my turns coming on.
I feel cold as a razor blade,
Tight as a tourniquet,
Dry as a funeral drum.

It is not a good day. My cat has been at the vet for 4 days, the doctors have no idea what is wrong with him, they have done just about all diagnostic procedures they can possibly do on him, and today they open him up and look around. We lost his brother that way. No one knew what was wrong with him, they opened him up to see what was wrong and they never even sewed him back up, they put him to sleep from there.

Obviously I am very worried history will repeat itself.

On top of this, pile disappointment, confusion, jealousy, anger, and emptiness and you have my day in a nutshell. I am a prime candidate for the Devil, should he exist, to make one hell of a deal on a slightly used soul.

Run to the bedroom,
In the suitcase on the left
You'll find my favorite axe.
Don't look so frightened
This is just a passing phase,
One of my bad days.

I feel like the walls are closing in, the ceiling is falling and the floor is pushing me upwards into oblivion. This little box I will end up in will be my coffin, but also my wall. I have not had walls u p around me and my heart and soul since a teenager. In fact it is probably why I am back here again watching the walls go up and the box grow tighter.

Would you like to watch T.V.?
Or get between the sheets?
Or contemplate the silent freeway?
Would you like something to eat?
Would you like to learn to fly?
Would'ya?... Would you like to see me try?

I am not a selfish man, I do not try to burden others with my problems and I do not often reach out and look for a helping hand. I try to be strong and stand on my own and be the person I am expected to be. But you cant be this all the time, thee is always something to stumble on and when you least expect it, you will and I have. I truly feel, one of my turns coming on.

Would you like to call the cops?
Do you think it's time I stopped?
Why are you running away?