Halloween:

Today is Halloween. Something is bothering me about people during Halloween and I am going to share it.

1. If your costume is not scary or spooky, YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT.
God I would like to set you on fire and let you run around screaming. The whole fucking point of Halloween (In case you missed it folks) is to scare away evil spirits who roam the land looking for a body to inhabit. (Celtic Legend) A fireman, a cell phone, a hooker, dancers, cops, political figures (with the exception of our president who actually is fucking scary), cartoon characters, are all right out the window. If you dressed up like one of these or anything not at all scary... FUCK YOU. You are an idiot who completely missed the point of the best holiday ever and you should die. Die horribly and viciously at the hands of the people who actually got the whole point of Halloween.

2. Dressing up babies and pets. This is borderline tolerable and can be slightly cute but don't overdo it. For one, this is for YOU and not for them. I promise you they aren't enjoying it and would never do it on their own, so get them out of that shit as soon as you get the pictures taken so they can recover from your selfish endeavour.

3. Giving out bullshit treats. Walk down to the local grocery store, look at the candy isle and take note of the candy displayed there. That is what you should be giving out (bite size is fine), not pennies, and dimes and dollars or whatever. Apples are ok because they are traditional, but don't hide razors, sewing needles, THC, LSD, or anything fucked up in it... that's just wrong. If you try to hand out any other bullshit treat, you should be pulled from your house and your head should be stomped on by the kids until your welcome mat is soaked in your brain matter. No shit people, don't skimp on the treats.

4. Turning out your lights and hiding from Trick or Treaters. Oh you are really asking for trouble by doing this. If you don't want to participate in Halloween, ok, whatever that's your choice, just be prepared to face the consequences. What I used to do to you cheap, miserable fucks who would go out or not participate, I cant even tell you because I am sure it is an open case with the detectives and FBI in my hometown and I am not signing any confession. Lets just say Trick or Treat is serious shit.

Now that this is off my chest I feel better. I cant wait till people start showing up at my house tonight, I have some ridiculous amounts of high quality candy, some kick ass Jack 'O Lanterns, and I am ready! Have a Happy Halloween people, do it right, have fun!

One of my turns:

Day after day, love turns grey
Like the skin of a dying man.
Night after night, we pretend its all right
But I have grown older and
You have grown colder and
Nothing is very much fun any more.
And I can feel one of my turns coming on.
I feel cold as a razor blade,
Tight as a tourniquet,
Dry as a funeral drum.

It is not a good day. My cat has been at the vet for 4 days, the doctors have no idea what is wrong with him, they have done just about all diagnostic procedures they can possibly do on him, and today they open him up and look around. We lost his brother that way. No one knew what was wrong with him, they opened him up to see what was wrong and they never even sewed him back up, they put him to sleep from there.

Obviously I am very worried history will repeat itself.

On top of this, pile disappointment, confusion, jealousy, anger, and emptiness and you have my day in a nutshell. I am a prime candidate for the Devil, should he exist, to make one hell of a deal on a slightly used soul.

Run to the bedroom,
In the suitcase on the left
You'll find my favorite axe.
Don't look so frightened
This is just a passing phase,
One of my bad days.

I feel like the walls are closing in, the ceiling is falling and the floor is pushing me upwards into oblivion. This little box I will end up in will be my coffin, but also my wall. I have not had walls u p around me and my heart and soul since a teenager. In fact it is probably why I am back here again watching the walls go up and the box grow tighter.

Would you like to watch T.V.?
Or get between the sheets?
Or contemplate the silent freeway?
Would you like something to eat?
Would you like to learn to fly?
Would'ya?... Would you like to see me try?

I am not a selfish man, I do not try to burden others with my problems and I do not often reach out and look for a helping hand. I try to be strong and stand on my own and be the person I am expected to be. But you cant be this all the time, thee is always something to stumble on and when you least expect it, you will and I have. I truly feel, one of my turns coming on.

Would you like to call the cops?
Do you think it's time I stopped?
Why are you running away?

Continuing Saga: My Cats

So it has been a while since I have told you about anything new in my life, my normal average daily life. To be honest I have not had a lot to complain about, but guess what? I do now.

Let me explain to you first that I love my two cats dearly. Their names are Castor and Gigi. Now, Castor is named Castor because he had a twin brother named Pollux. Castor and Pollux, you know, the star constellation? Yeah I thought it was cute and thier personalities matched the myth as well as the whole twin part. Unfortunatly a long while back, we lost Pollux to F.I.P. Very sad. So sad in fact, I made a silent pronmise to myself not to get anymore cats. Until one day when my co-worker came in and told me that she was going to get rid of her cat, Gigi. Now... I would NEVER name my god damned cat Gigi. Ever. It just reaks of pretention and high maintanence, two things you do not want in a cat. But she was nothing like that when I first saw her. In fact she was very very shy, to the point you honestly had to wonder if she had be horribly beaten (Now I presume she was, or locked in a closet, or something tragic). I will say that with a few years of complete pampering and total love she is not even close to being the same cat as when I met her. I have several (HA! several? who am I trying to kid?) friends who will vouge for this. Anyhow... let me get this story going.

Castor is a very smart cat. He has shown remarkable problem solving skills, reasoning skills and even verbal skills. He can open doors, cabinets, and just about anything his paw can reach. He has learned to use his paw like a hand, which I think he got the idea from Gigi but expounded on it and now can grab anything he wishes. Gigi on the other hand is dumber than a fence post. She does your typical cat things like, chases her tail, forgets she has been living with Castor for the past 4 or 5 years and attacks HIM if she sees another cat. Doesnt remember where the litter box is. And she has a pretty goofy expression on her face at all times. It does not help that she has one tooth that will not stop growing and hangs out of the side of her mouth. Makes her kind of look like a saber tooth, which is our nickname for her. I have a sarcastic name for her that my girlfriend does not like, GiGenius. Yes, I thought it was funny too! So now that you have a little back ground on these two, I will tell you what an average day is like with them.

Upon awakening to a beautiful morning, both cats wait for me in the hall leading to the coffee pot. They know without a doubt this is where I will be heading. Having just woken up I am grouchy, angry and usually on the edge of what I like to call "Burst Violence". That tedious balance between being in control and completly out of control of your actions after waking up. And this is one facet of human nature that the cats do not understand or fear. You would think after thousands of years of natural selection, genetic survival and encoding, that domesticated cats would have adapted to this phenomena and noticed the warning signs. Well... they havent. Because as I walk down the hall towards my blessed coffee pot, the meowing starts. Not just happy go lucky, normal meowing. Not the kind that says "Hey, hello there, Hi im your cat and good morning to you" or "What a beautiful morning, go get your coffee, we'll talk later." no no no, nothing so pleasant. It is something more akin to "Hey you fat fuck! Feed me, I can see the bottom of my food bowl and its pissing me off! DO IT NOW!" or "Hey fuck face!, you going to get a job today or sit on your ass and ignore me all day?" This is where I take deep breaths and kindly tell them to Shut the fuck up. Of course I am well aware the food bowl is full, that the water dish is full and they have just been petted and cuddled by my girlfriend only mere moments before she left for work. So possibly, the only reason for this loud, desperate meowing is to confuse me or upset me. I do finally reach the sweet salvation of my coffee pot despite the deliberate way in which both cats throw themselfs in front of my walking feet in an obvious and purposeful attempt of tripping me. I do not know why they want me to trip, perhaps it is so then can more easily reach the soft fleshy tissues of my face in order to rip them out and devour them. Whatever the case they ALMOST always fail at this, something they will have to co-ordinate and work at if they hope to achieve any level of success in the future. Make no mistake, if it is their intent, they will master this art and soon I will be defeated. At which point I can only hope someone discovers my half eaten corpse before the digestive enzymes and flesh eating bacterias burst through my body and destroy the carpeting. Because if it is harmed in anyway, it is my belief that my girlfriend will kill herself in order to chase me into the afterlife, simply to yell at me for it. But they do not trip me and I am successful in getting my cup of coffee and as the first dropplets of the morning elixr of consciousness hit my tongue I am fooled into thinking that things will get better. I am dead wrong of course, else there would not be a post about it. More coming tomorrow.