Letting Go

If you add up all the things in your life that you have experienced, people you have met and thing you have done. Foods you have tasted, drinks you have enjoyed. Movies you liked, poetry you read. Books you have sat in front of the fireplace reading or.. hell, even your favorite type of porn. All of these things, added up, equal the sum of your life. Because all you have is memories and the present. Anything beyond that is fleeting and useless. Even love is a memory. You remember what it felt like to first kiss and hold this incredible new person, and from there, after the newness fades, your left with the memory of love. And you remain in love with the memory until something new is experienced with this person. If too much time goes by, you forget. And then you "fall out of love". And you let that person go for another new experience, something that can make an imprint on your mind and heart. Another good memory.

You know what my problem is? I cant fucking remember what I had for dinner the night before. I do not remember very much of anything at all. Ever. But this puts me in a unique place that is quite outside the box. Everything is new. Everything is a wonderous experience that keeps me feeling. I am blessed and cursed at the same time. Blessed to forget all the bad things so I do not carry around any baggage at all. None. But cursed because I am intense. I am intense and constantly searching for that next memory. That little something that will make the moment not feel like just another empty day.

Are you like me?